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Archive for the ‘Psychological Effects’

History – and Hope

January 24, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons, Psychological Effects, Skin

I’m a turkey hunter. One day in May, in the late 80’s, I carried the cooling carcass of a large gobbler from the woods while its parasitic populace happily hopped onto me. After that, I just thought my house had developed an awful flea problem, so I bombed it, and bombed it. I didn’t know it was all about me.

In the late 90’s, a temp moved into my workspace for a month of training. She hinted about a nightmarish condition that had ruined her life. When she left the department, she also left me with a new parasite. I thought I had brought the “fleas” to work. After I requested a second pesticide treatment in my office, a longtime coworker discreetly told me what I had not realized before: I was the only person being bitten. That was difficult to process but explained everything. An email buddy suggested scabies and, as horrifying as that was, I was grateful to have a start point for my research.

I bought a portable microscope, found some great online resources (see links), upgraded to a digital microscope, started

  • A defunct website called livingwithcritters.com.
  • This blog.

Like many others, I went through the emotional phases that follow trauma, and for some time considered suicide.

My area docs responded about like everyone else’s. It turns out that a little article called Delusory Parasitosis, by Nancy Hinkle, is published in three key professional trade encyclopedias: medical, entomological, and pest control – just in case you wondered why they acted like that and said all those mean things.

Through frantic trial and error, I found products and protocols that made life bearable for me while I continued to seek a solution.

I adapted enough to continue working, learned to prevent transmission, averted brain fog (so far), and ducked lesions until 2010.  The Morgellons, or whatever this is, began really accelerating my aging in the past couple of years and I knew that though I had won many battles, I was losing the war.

Safely Social, Part 1

January 11, 2012 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, F-Zymes, Indoors, Morgellons, Psychological Effects, Safely Social

How do I avoid transmitting this disease to others without giving up a social life? Obviously compromises are in order. Here are the ones I have made, and they seem to be working for me because I have been sick with this disease for a while with no known transmission to others:

Social Life

There is no reason to forego a social life. What I do is graciously accept invitations to people’s homes (but never invite them to mine no matter how many times I have to change the subject) and then simply do not go. That is easier than declining while everyone is looking at me. Right! Instead, I meet people in public places that I know are vacuumed or mopped daily or more often in some cases.

I did stop attending a bible study because everyone hugged, all the time. Had I at the outset indicated that I preferred not to be hugged, it would have been accepted, but I did not want to explain why I was suddenly saying that after hugging freely for a couple of years. Simply simpler. I miss that group, they were wonderful, and of course I miss the hugs, but I am not short of friends or social life, I just have to have it on slightly different terms.

I did also choose to stop attending a church with upholstered bench seats. Fortunately it was not a church I had attended long and I realize that choice would be much more difficult for many of you. Instead, I found a small church with folding metal chairs. I can dash in discreetly after the service and swipe the one I used with a disinfecting cloth and no one is the wiser. If someone comes in, I’m there to pray, right?

Check back tomorrow for more on protecting others through simple preventive measures.

Old Timers

January 10, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons, Psychological Effects

So why should you listen to the old-timers?
If they really wanted to get well they would BE well
after all this time, right?

Right. They got this and their first thought was,
“I’ve been waiting all my life for this demonic plague.
I think I’ll go swing in my hammock
while they EAT ME!!!”

Yeah.

If an old timer takes the time to share with you, chances are you need to listen. They may not be well, but they have obviously got the biggest barrel of what NOT to do of anyone. Plus, they are not just victims, they are SURVIVORS. Every soldier needs to know how to live through the battle, and that is where they can help you.

River, Egypt

January 04, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons, Psychological Effects, Research

In case you don’t know this quote, it goes like this: “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”

If you have this disease, in any of its many forms, “This can’t be happening” serves only the parasites. Anger is about as useless. The best place to turn that energy is in learning about the disease and finding out the various things that have worked for some of us. You are here, which shows that you are already searching. Don’t quit.

Do you have any clue what you have? If you don’t, go on ebay and search for a “pocket lighted microscope 60-100x.” You can always upgrade to a real microscope or a cheap digital one later. For now, you just want to know what’s “eating” you, right?

It is easy to say, this can’t be happening, but it is, so what do I do now? The answer is, research. No one has all the answers, but there are a lot of answers out there, especially on the internet. Some of them may help you. There are no guarantees. What works for someone else may not work for you. Think before you spend and then know you may find you have wasted your money. Unfortunately, this is more often the case than not.

Only you can decide what you can afford or have time to try, or what your body and family can take. Just remember, speed is of the essence. You must do whatever it takes to learn as much as you can, as fast as you can. Focus on those who have beaten it, but do not ignore the wisdom of those still battling.

Just Do It – Now, Please

January 03, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons, Psychological Effects, Research

When you catch yourself feeling sorry for yourself, like your life is over, reread this post.

FIRST THINGS FIRST

You have one life. You are sick. Lots of people are sicker. Your odds of getting well are far better, say, than those of someone who is about to be hit by a garbage truck. Find SOMETHING to be thankful for. (I know, it feels like your whole life was hit by a truck.)

Things to focus on: the faster you accept that this is your situation right now, the faster you can start fighting it effectively. Crying and yelling are only band-aids. They don’t really help.

YEAH YEAH

It is going to sound crazier than you feel right now, but look for things that are beautiful ANYway. Think of things you can be grateful for. Above all, LAUGH – laugh at the freaking absurdity of the situation. What the heck else can we do?

DO’S AND DON’TS

DON’T share your desperate plight with those who do not have this. It will not help. It will hurt. You will become, to them, any or all of these: crazy, dangerous, unemployable, unloveable, untouchable, and much more. DON’T SHARE. Not with them, anyway.

DO find the various communities of parasite sufferers online. That is the only smart and appropriate place to dump all your feelings out without real-life negative consequences. That said, you are not paying them. They do not work for you. They do not OWE you a reply to your post. They too are going broke, losing their jobs (because they talked to the wrong people), getting no sleep, clawing at their skin, railing against their unfair plight. Be patient when your posts go unanswered. Busy groups have so many posts daily that the new ones are quickly buried by the newer ones. So repost your questions until someone sees and answers them.

DO find and read the posts on this blog about preventing others from catching this from you. Some simple precautions can ensure that you can continue to function in society as a whole, keep your job, live in the same house with a non-sufferer. The precautions are not a guarantee, at least by me. Each situation is different. However, ve have vays of keeping others safe so we can live among them till we are again one of them.

GROUP ETIQUETTE

Never yell at your new support network, or use all caps (the same as yelling). Do not waste your time or theirs picking apart their posts. JUST LISTEN. Okay, I’m shouting. BE KIND. Even when others do not know to put their anger aside when they post–it is not about you! They just want their life back, too. Like you, they had other plans.

What Works4Me, Part 1

December 26, 2011 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, F-Zymes, Herx, Morgellons, Psychological Effects

Note to Newbies

I had this a long time before I knew what it was, and for many years before I discovered this group. You are going to get well before me because you have not had it as long. Hold onto that. I know you are hurt and angry and don’t know why this is happening to you or why no one will listen.
I have seen many sufferers with less time in the disease than I have, come and go. YOU CAN, TOO! But you can also reduce the discomfort we have all experienced while you get rid of the disease.
Check back tomorrow night to read the first of my articles about how I have made this horrible battle a little less horrible.

 

The Lie of Delusory Parasitosis

December 24, 2011 By: kajay Category: Delusory Parasitosis, F-Zymes, Morgellons, Psychological Effects

Why is it so difficult to get a diagnosis of our condition? How we do not get a proper diagnosis I credit at least in small part to an article entitled Delusory Parasitosis written by Nancy Hinkle. Despite its (to us) obvious fallacies, the included table of symptoms (of DP) even today often blocks us from receiving help –  or even being taken seriously – by members of three key professions:
  • medical doctors
  • entomologists
  • pest control operators
Why has a two-page article so impacted – in a negative way – the lives of so many? Because the article appears in each of these professions’ trade encyclopedias and professional databases (I googled them). As a result, when these professionals get on their computers, log into their expensive trade software, and then punch in our symptoms, the search results tell them that it is all in our heads. A pat answer is what we get to a confusing, painful, terrifying condition, usually early in the disease when we are struggling just to figure out what is going on, how to get rid of it, and, worse yet, are realizing it isn’t as simple as a bottle of Rid or a tube of Eurax.
Like the strong among you, and this disease has definitely made me strong, I don’t know about you, I refused to let these obstacles keep me from doing absolutely everything I could to get over the disease and put it behind me. I had to stop the incessant ice pick bites, the crawling invasion of every part of my body. I got lucky. Even though I am still fighting the disease, I have learned to deal with the short-term effects while the battle rages on.
Over the first couple of years I pretty much stumbled onto these things that have allowed me a more humane existence in spite of the critters.
Newbies, check back tomorrow night for my first in a series of things that can help you survive the fight you have in front of you!

 

F-Caps

October 19, 2011 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons, Psychological Effects

Since March, I have been taking the F-products in capsule form, starting with one capsule daily of F-5 and working up to three capsules of F-7 daily now. I attribute many effects to taking the F-products internally. I take them on an empty stomach as my friend (who started me on the F-products) advised. Within a half hour, I need to eat something or I get nauseous, though a Pepto Bismal tablet works too. It was when I upped my dose from two to three caps a day that the number of exit wounds REALLY increased.  What are the long-term benefits of the F-zymes? My life back? Yes and no. I don’t think I have to name most of the benefits. But when the Morgellons are gone from me, they will be leaving me with something I did not really have before: My life, as I was intended to live it.