Morjella

The Magazine for Sufferers of Morg, Lyme and More
Subscribe

Farm Theory

February 03, 2012 By: kajay Category: Farm Theory

Behavior can be understood and predicted in direct proportion to the facts available. These facts include–

Mechanics

What do our tormentors look like?

  • How do they feed? Breed? Move? Give birth?
  • What intelligence do they possess? What motivates them?
  • Why are they here? And, finally, “Why me?”

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Every creature is motivated by survival: That means water first, then food, and then sex. From single cell to complex organism, that remains the same. If one of this powerful motivational triad is threatened, we, meaning the gamut just mentioned, will do ANYTHING to make sure we have it. Click here to learn more about this useful tool for understanding what motivates other people–and probably critters too.

Military

Before a population can settle in a new place, they must first choose it where they want to live. Once they choose it, they must take the ground.

Settlers

Once the ground is taken, the new population must settle in and find ways to ensure their ability to survive and THRIVE.

Community

Some organisms are loners, as are humans. Others have learned that it benefits them to work together, in a community or colony. Not all the critters who find us are colony critters, but I think the morg are. I haven’t made all the pieces fit yet, and I’m not trying to force them to, as that would not help me, or anyone else. If anything, I lean toward conservatism when it comes to conclusion jumping. It’s one of few areas in my life where I think inside the box is best, at least until the box has enough data in it to start rummaging through it. That said, I am always trying to figure out (as are you) what is happening to us and why.

Physical Reality/Unreality

Some things that work on a human scale would never work on a microscopic scale, but others, some physical principles, certainly do. However, it is probable that other things that are true on our scale are acted out daily within the morg’s world. I have seen behavior through my microscope that suggests (though I think it does more than that, I will not ask you to agree with me) that the critters care about their young, protect their queen, will fight like demons if threatened, make love in a remarkable way, give birth even more strangely (to me) and have no concept of us at all other than as the providers of their homes. We are the ‘burbs.

Their World

We are their source of everything. Without me, for example, they must find YOU. I do not think this is the first choice of a contented member of a morg population. I believe that they work very hard to “make the ground livable.” If you lived in a bountiful farm land, would you want to leave it to start over elsewhere? I think the answer would only be yes when the present “community” (me) no longer provides what their mature community needs. In other words, when, and this isn’t pretty, they have used us up. Because the morg have not learned how to sustain us as a provider. They are as inefficient with our bodies as we are with the Earth. They consume, and they replace only what they need in the short term. Do they know? I have no idea. But this seems to be how they do business.

Fungal Farm

So how do they turn us into a bountiful farm land? The answer is simple: They plant and cultivate and grow and harvest what they need. When I came to this theory finally it explained so much. It may not be RIGHT, but it would dot some i’s and cross some t’s for me.

Summary

1. The military. Take a beachhead (lesion) and dig in deep. From this point, mount and support future operations. (black speck and globe fiber mites)

2. The settlers – Once the area is secure, build homes (in and under our skin, in our tear ducts, wherever we do not know how to prevent it). (ovoid nasty biters)

3. Clear/cultivate land (that’s us, dears).

4. Plant a crop. And what might that crop include??? The answer is, it will include whatever they can grow on us by varied means, that will in turn feed their GFood parasites, fungal host parasites, and fungi themselves. A farm, my friends.

Tags:

Bypass Denial

January 30, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons

These things exist in accordance with the same behavioral mandate that drives all humans:

Above all – SURVIVE.

I am always, as are most people, reluctant to move away from “This can’t be happening” (denial). On the other hand, I fight the temptation to believe too easily. In addition, I try to avoid belief based on emotion, especially, in this case, the emotion of fear. I am a data seeker. I want, NEED, facts. But what facts do I have from which to hypothesize? to draw conclusions? I have plenty. They might mean something only to me, because they fall outside of what I think most people want to believe, outside what my doctor, pest control operator, and dermatologist know and, in some cases, want to believe or can find in their premier trade publications and encyclopedias.

These “things” have made me question my sanity, and also question the prescription in my reading glasses! They are so beautiful, so remarkable, that it is hard to hate them until they bite me again, often but not always without breaking my skin. Only when they break the skin and a dot of fresh blood appears on the surface do those with me believe, and then they only believe the bite, because only a sufferer knows the whole story.

Watching the critters through the lens of a microscope confirms to me their power as opponents. That they respond – often so quickly – to stimuli explains why they adapt to our many protocols, why we must keep changing what we do in order to maintain momentum in our battle against them.

Tags:

Links

January 26, 2012 By: kajay Category: Links, Products

I will add more links as I find or receive them. Send me yours as comments and I will add them then delete the comments or, if you include how you use the products, I will leave your comments.

kajay / morjella

Read the rest of this entry →

History – and Hope

January 24, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons, Psychological Effects, Skin

I’m a turkey hunter. One day in May, in the late 80’s, I carried the cooling carcass of a large gobbler from the woods while its parasitic populace happily hopped onto me. After that, I just thought my house had developed an awful flea problem, so I bombed it, and bombed it. I didn’t know it was all about me.

In the late 90’s, a temp moved into my workspace for a month of training. She hinted about a nightmarish condition that had ruined her life. When she left the department, she also left me with a new parasite. I thought I had brought the “fleas” to work. After I requested a second pesticide treatment in my office, a longtime coworker discreetly told me what I had not realized before: I was the only person being bitten. That was difficult to process but explained everything. An email buddy suggested scabies and, as horrifying as that was, I was grateful to have a start point for my research.

I bought a portable microscope, found some great online resources (see links), upgraded to a digital microscope, started

  • A defunct website called livingwithcritters.com.
  • This blog.

Like many others, I went through the emotional phases that follow trauma, and for some time considered suicide.

My area docs responded about like everyone else’s. It turns out that a little article called Delusory Parasitosis, by Nancy Hinkle, is published in three key professional trade encyclopedias: medical, entomological, and pest control – just in case you wondered why they acted like that and said all those mean things.

Through frantic trial and error, I found products and protocols that made life bearable for me while I continued to seek a solution.

I adapted enough to continue working, learned to prevent transmission, averted brain fog (so far), and ducked lesions until 2010.  The Morgellons, or whatever this is, began really accelerating my aging in the past couple of years and I knew that though I had won many battles, I was losing the war.

Before F-5

January 22, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons

I have had various parasitic pathogens since I was infested after a turkey hunt in the late 80’s. I did not know the problem was inside of my body. I thought my house had a really bad flea problem, so I bombed and bombed. For the next decade, the internal infestation grew to a profound level.

One of the most significant effects was that my body became a more attractive habitat for other pathogens, and in the late 90’s, a woman who briefly shared my workspace infested it – and me – with an additional pathogen. That one brought its own, and they made it known from the beginning that they were inside me, that they had invaded me to a highly intimate and terrifying degree.

I tried everything I read anywhere, I bought every lotion, cream, treatment, pesticide, that I could find.

Within three years, the direct and indirect costs had risen to six figures. I joined internet groups, published websites of my own, and made a few very good friends within the community. As a group, we experienced ostracism and rejection, and found no help in the medical, entomological, or pest control industries. Those who were lucky had the support of their families. My husband, who does not have it, and never caught it, is wonderful. Other than that, my online support group was all I had, since the rest of my family and most of the docs I visited did not believe me and could not help me.

That the medical community refused to recognize whatever it is I have meant no insurance coverage – not that that would have paid for all the laundering, the power used for all the extra drying, the dry cleaning for those who could afford it, help cleaning the house, all the chemicals for the house, all the products bought that did not work but that we could not return (75 percent of the costs in my case). It also meant that when I had a very bad day due to crawling (no sleep) or a fresh lesion (whose bleeding I could not stop completely) or nausea (when I was using MMS improperly) and a dozen other things that caused me to call in sick or go in late, I had to “clean up” my excuses. No one wanted the truth, it was too scary. When I did talk about it, even though I had figured out how to prevent transmission through prevention, the assumption was that I presented a danger to others, when in fact, because of my protocols, I did not. So secrecy and lack of validation was bad – and good.

And then one of my good friends called me and told me about F-5. I ordered it at once. From the day after the night when I first sprayed the liquid mixture on myself after my shower, I have not had a single big lesion. I have had 1/8″ spots that almost immediately turned brownish but they do not bleed. It was 95 today and I wore a cap sleeved shirt. My arms are clear. Only one stubborn spot hasn’t cleared up, but it will. That will be a big day.

Tags:

Safely Social, Part 3

January 13, 2012 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, Safely Social

How do I avoid transmitting this disease to others without giving up a social life? Obviously compromises are in order. Here are the ones I have made, and they seem to be working for me because I have been sick with this disease for a while with no known transmission to others. So far we have covered social life, family, handshakes, hugs, and towels. Today we will cover camouflaging clothing, workspaces, keyboards, and vacuuming.

NOTE: Since I originally published this article, my mom grew very ill and I had to be with her at times of greater shedding, times I would normally remain home, work on my computer job, and stay away from others. One of my brothers also spent a lot of time with our mother and just before she died she finally admitted that the “age spots” on her arm came and went, and might be lesions. F-zymes quickly got rid of the lesions. When she made the decision to stop chemo in order to regain some quality of life for her remaining time, she also opted out of enzymatic therapy. Now my brother has started having lesions. The only plus is that they got it after Gordon developed the f-zymes. Does this invalidate the procedures in this article? NO. The procedures worked for a very long time, and did so as long as I was able to control my circumstances to some degree. They continue to work. Stuff happens, because we cannot control everything, but we can control A LOT.

Camouflage Clothing

When I am having a “sheddy” day, I go only where I have to. Seems cyclic, probably due to treatments. Some days I don’t see a single fleck on my clothes. On days when I am shedding heavily, I wear busy prints to hide it, and I roll with my lint roller frequently whenever I get a second alone (I keep one on my desk). When I am alone at home and want to remove what I shed throughout the day to reduce transmission from one part of my body to another, I wear white or black. No prints or muddy midtones. They show up as white on black, and as blue on white (sometimes pink or orange).

Workspace and Keyboard

If I have to submit a help desk ticket, before I do it, I go get the vacuum cleaner my boss bought me because I mentioned I had “allergies” and I vacuum my workspace thoroughly INCLUDING MY KEYBOARD. To clean my keyboard well between the keys, I use a table knife and pull it between the keys. Everyone just thinks I am a clean freak. I encourage that thought! That gets any debris that has fallen between the keys. Then I take the back, duller edge of the knife and use it to push a disinfectant cloth between the keys. Many people who get this get it from keyboards, so I am especially careful about them. I also vacuum the mouse and mouse pad thoroughly. And then I run the lint roller over my chair and vacuum any crevices I can’t reach. I spend no more than 5 minutes (my boss’s limit, isn’t that dumb?) and get it all done. I have it down. Then I put in my help desk ticket and can be as confident as is possible that I will not transmit this to our IT folks.

Vacuuming

As far as vacuuming, once I have my entire home clean clean, I can maintain daily by vacuuming about a yard diameter circle – 3 feet – with my chair at the center. I do vacuum my bedroom more often, but I don’t have to put as much effort into the between days. For thorough vacuuming, I go once a week. If I had children crawling on the floor, I would vacuum the areas they like to crawl and where I spend time, daily, or I would remove myself and spend time away from them (tough decision).
Thanks for reading this series of articles about how to avoid transmitting this horrid disease to others. That you read it all says that you care about others enough to make the extra effort to protect them–without compromising your own anonymity.

Safely Social, Part 2

January 12, 2012 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, Safely Social

How do I avoid transmitting this disease to others without giving up a social life? Obviously compromises are in order. Here are the ones I have made, and they seem to be working for me because I have been sick with this disease for a while with no known transmission to others. Yesterday’s article covered “Social Life.” Today we will cover family, handshakes, huggs, and towels.

Family

My husband gets infected from me but has gout and we think the uric acid kills them. So we sleep in separate rooms. I don’t miss his loud alarm clock anyway, and I stay up later, so this way we are not disturbing each other. When we get together, it is like a honeymoon (though the critters limit that too, but we are quite creative!)

Handshakes

I do not shake hands unless I have just sterilized AND SCRUBBED my hands. Usually I know ahead of time when that kind of thing is likely to occur and can run down the hall to the ladies room to prepare.

Hugged without Warning

When someone just plain pulls me over for a hug, I make sure I only meet their cheek with my cheek – no hair contact. If I can avoid the hug/kiss, I do. I will use any means. Usually, distraction works best. I pull back (if I have even a second to think) and say “Oh, I wanted to get your advice about something.” It doesn’t matter now lame what you say is. What people focus on is that you asked for their advice. Start with their name – that’ll stop most folks in their tracks. Then, ask them anything: “What do you think about ____?”  Because we are all subject to unexpected contact, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of lice combing daily (even though I have morg, not lice); thoroughly scrubbing every inch of skin, especially head, ears, and hands, daily (at least); and remaining aware at all times that it is MY responsibility to prevent transmission. No one else’s. No, I did not ask for this disease, but I have the advantage, and burden, of knowing that I have it. Others are innocent. They did not give this to me. Taking every precaution is the right thing to do. If nothing else, I remind myself that if I get rid of this, I could get it back from someone I gave it to. I want to keep up my no transmit record.

Towels

I put a roll of paper towels in my mom’s house so I never have to use her towels. I put paper on the seat and also use a disinfectant cloth on the toilet seat when I am done.

Check back tomorrow for more on protecting others through simple preventive measures.

Safely Social, Part 1

January 11, 2012 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, F-Zymes, Indoors, Morgellons, Psychological Effects, Safely Social

How do I avoid transmitting this disease to others without giving up a social life? Obviously compromises are in order. Here are the ones I have made, and they seem to be working for me because I have been sick with this disease for a while with no known transmission to others:

Social Life

There is no reason to forego a social life. What I do is graciously accept invitations to people’s homes (but never invite them to mine no matter how many times I have to change the subject) and then simply do not go. That is easier than declining while everyone is looking at me. Right! Instead, I meet people in public places that I know are vacuumed or mopped daily or more often in some cases.

I did stop attending a bible study because everyone hugged, all the time. Had I at the outset indicated that I preferred not to be hugged, it would have been accepted, but I did not want to explain why I was suddenly saying that after hugging freely for a couple of years. Simply simpler. I miss that group, they were wonderful, and of course I miss the hugs, but I am not short of friends or social life, I just have to have it on slightly different terms.

I did also choose to stop attending a church with upholstered bench seats. Fortunately it was not a church I had attended long and I realize that choice would be much more difficult for many of you. Instead, I found a small church with folding metal chairs. I can dash in discreetly after the service and swipe the one I used with a disinfecting cloth and no one is the wiser. If someone comes in, I’m there to pray, right?

Check back tomorrow for more on protecting others through simple preventive measures.

Old Timers

January 10, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons, Psychological Effects

So why should you listen to the old-timers?
If they really wanted to get well they would BE well
after all this time, right?

Right. They got this and their first thought was,
“I’ve been waiting all my life for this demonic plague.
I think I’ll go swing in my hammock
while they EAT ME!!!”

Yeah.

If an old timer takes the time to share with you, chances are you need to listen. They may not be well, but they have obviously got the biggest barrel of what NOT to do of anyone. Plus, they are not just victims, they are SURVIVORS. Every soldier needs to know how to live through the battle, and that is where they can help you.

Warm and Fuzzy

January 09, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Indoors, Morgellons

Your unwanted pets love to wait for you in the fibers of your carpet, curtains, and upholstered furniture. Make sure you treat all of these thoroughly with a combination borate and insect growth regulator. Use an organic knockdown of your choosing to prevent biting while you treat your favorite recliner (you might want to get something comfy but easier to clean!), those wonderful sound-absorbing, insulating draperies in your bedroom, or you might just want to ditch it all and save yourself the maintenance.

Blue Boy

January 07, 2012 By: kajay Category: Blue Boy

Tuesday, April 14, 2009, 9:25 PM

I had three computer crashes occur in the same day. I run a lot of protective programs on my computer plus I installed a surge protector on our circuit board (replacing two unused circuit breaker spaces), so my computer NEVER crashes… Except 3 times in one night about a month ago (March 2009) when I photographed Blue Boy (see below) and two other critters that behaved more like people than bugs. Three times I photographed remarkable creatures and in each case, just before I closed the scanner so I could save the files from RAM to the hard drive, my computer just went black. Off. Not a crash. It was like when you just pull the power cord out. Blip. Anyhow, here’s the story of one of them and what happened that blew my mind:

====================
Within a month before the Blue Boy incident, I solved (to my own satisfaction) one of the colored fiber puzzles. I’m still not certain of the why or how, but I have figured out the what:

Bright New PJs >> Bright New Critters

Around Christmas of 2008, I bought new pajamas in a fabric that sanitizes well (a polyester). I selected clothes in bright colors that I did not previously have in my wardrobe, all distinctly different from anything else in my wardrobe. Specifically, the colors included lime green, orange, a medium purple, hot pink, and a aqua. After I wore each new pair of PJs, I would find fiber mites for up to two weeks after that whose exterior fibers were the same color as the pajamas.

The first time it happened (before, not this time), I rolled my eyes, because I had just read the Morgellons Watch posts about us creating the critters from the fibers of our clothing.

What Happened

One night, I was using Photoshop Elements and my Digivision camera microscope to record some active (moving and biting) specimens I was finding that night. I have forgotten the specifics of the second and third incidents, because the first is the one that blew my mind. It is the one I will describe. Blue Boy One pair of the new PJs was a light bright turquoise–a bit darker than swimming pool water.

Typically my critters’ exoskeletons have dirty white fibers. And no, that is not the color of my clothing! For some reason that has always been their color. So this marked a significant change in the behavior of the organisms, not just a change of sleep wardrobe for me.

I had already removed several specimens that had pale neutral fibers. Each was biting, and each was moderately active, but not enough to make videos out of the stills. At that point in my disease process, that was pretty much same old, same old.

Until I removed one that was light blue. The color alone was unusual. The first blue one shocked me, but then I found more, and more. Finally I chose a fat nearly round blue one because its black dot eyes, 3 pair of legs, and tiny black anal “C” proved to me that it was an insect – NOT lint. I positioned the microscope straight over where I had placed it on the lint roller, focused, and waited. It jerked, like they do when they think whatever is shining a bright light on them is no longer watching, and so I waited some more. Then it did something else they often do, it swayed the nonstuck (to the lint roller) side of its body back and forth a few times until it had the momentum to throw itself down on its side. Of course it was trying to escape, and could not.

I wanted a better look, so I repositioned the microscope to see the critter in profile. I was surprised to see that it had flattened out. While I watched, it pushed with its short thin black legs up off the lint roller. It had managed to free its blue fibers, but could not get its feet unstuck. Then it spun around like a frisbee, eyes toward me, and thrust its body toward me aggressively.

This startled me so badly I jerked back, taking the microscope with me.

Some of this I had recorded as it happened, clicking still shots to later join into a lightweight video (faster upload than real video). I had already imported the still shots into Windows Movie Maker. My computer went black screen and rebooted to the screen with the prompt about continuing to boot in safe mode. I selected the normal boot option because I just figured it was a power surge that had slipped past our whole house surge protector (I recommend those, btw).

What is so strange is not that I lost my work in Movie Maker. It is that the same thing happened twice more the same night after I collected and photographed two more critters whose behavior was equally suggestive of intelligent thought. There is nothing more to say. I just wanted to document one of the strangest experiences I’ve had since I’ve been photographing critters (over 100,000 critter photos in three years).

Isolate, Isolate

January 06, 2012 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, Kajay's Best, Lice combing, Morgellons

Is it just me or do parasites naturally gravitate to the warmest, friendliest place in their world: MY HEAD. Early on I was still shampooing in the shower, and dodging nasty bites as I washed them out of my hair. My first trick was lathering up top-down, then rinsing top-down, turning around under the water till the lather was off, and then hopping out of the shower. I’ve learned a thing or two since then. What do I recommend that you might not find on the internet (or you might)?

ISOLATE!

I have saved myself from much worse contamination by using the kitchen sink for everything from the neck up, covering my hair, and THEN showering the rest of me. Once I am done with my hair, it remains covered until it is time to get ready for work the next morning. Failure to follow this simple rule has cost me many miserable hours. So, in extreme detail, here is my nightly routine:

FROM THE NECK UP (SINK)

Vinyl Gloves

Use gloves. I prefer vinyl. They hold up longer than latex.

Runoff is Baaaad

Never let water run from hair onto face. EVER. What to use is another discussion. How to comb, google it. Lice comb. Every day, twice on bad days. I use a very very fine-toothed metal comb. There are a couple sold on the internet that work fine. I pull the comb through once then scrub gently with a dish scrubbing brush, and repeat till no matter where I comb, or in what direction, the comb is clean. I soak comb and dish brush overnight in water with something unfriendly to critters. I think it is the overnight part that really does the trick. I soak them in the top of a 100-count computer disk spindle. Works just fine. I keep a couple in the shower to soak those implements, too.

Eye-Saving Technique

Here is a tip that may save your eyes, literally. When you are combing, make sure you do not run the water in the sink very fast. You want to avoid splashing it in your eyes. From the moment you pick up your scrub brush to clean your “harvest” out of your comb, your eyes should be closed, and you should be operating by touch.

Scrub slowly to avoid the spring action that occurs if you are brushing hard and the brush suddenly goes off the comb. Where and how you are standing, that would almost certainly fill your eyes with contaminated water.

Eye Emergency!!!

Should you get “hair water” in your eyes, immediately put on clean gloves. Drop everything else and do it at once. Gently splash body temp water (or cooler) on your eyes. Keep your face down so the water will run off and out of your eyes. Blot with a clean paper towel (I assume that is what you would use, too). Repeat a couple of times. Then put any kind of eye drops in your eye from the end that did NOT get splashed. Then bend your head over again, leave the drops in a moment, then blot. Lift your head only to add more drops. Do this about three times also. That SHOULD be enough. If you are not sure, or if you feel anything, continue to attack with the eye drops. Sometimes I will use a clean cotton swab and soak it with the eye drops or some kind of eye wash and clean my lashes and scrub my tear duct, which is where my critters seem to congregate. This whole emergency procedure will take you about 3 minutes but it is critical. When you are comfortable doing so, resume combing.

Nighttime Hair Treatment

When I finish combing, I dry my hair and coat it with something oily to retard activity. Coconut oil, a glossing oil, whatever you like. I look for oils that contain some kind of antiparasitic. There are lots of products in the beauty supply houses that have useful mixes. Many contain sulphur, for example, and some contain linalool or limonene. The addition of a wax such as beeswax or a microcrystalline wax is a plus. A bit of vaseline is useful if you don’t mind. There are lots of reasons to mind about using petroleum and other inherently unsafe products, but use of anything is always a personal choice based on considerations such as finances and level of desperation.

Hair Wrap

I like to cover my hair before I shower and go to bed. When my hair is dry but for the oils, I wrap it in paper towels, put a wig cap (2 for 99 cents at my local wig stores), and then put a shower cap on.

 

FROM THE NECK DOWN (SHOWER)

Shower Floor

Two 1-gallon jugs with pumps (recycled Flea Shampoo and pumps from Jefferspet.com), one with pure blue Dawn in it (aka my shower gel), and the other with a 1 part Dawn to 20 parts water mixture (in case I feel a bite from the shower floor). I keep a large funnel behind the back jug to refill these.

One plastic canister (floor of shower enclosure) with a dilute of Dawn or Arm and Hammer liquid laundry detergent. In here, I soak my foot brush (another dish scrubber – the long handles save my back), a callus scrubber, and my razor.

Shower Seat

Two plastic canisters (shower seat). One is for clean, unused implements. Used/dirty ones go in the other canister. When I step in the shower, I move them all to the canister with the clean implements.

Scrubbers

I have two big scrubbies, a rough cloth back scrubber, 3 small utility brushes I use for spot scrubbing, and a large sponge with a non-stick scrubbing surface on one side.

Towels

I buy shop towels. They are between the size of a wash cloth and a very small hand towel, but one is enough to get the bulk of the moisture off. I hang one over the top of the enclosure door.

Sleep Aid

I take a part of a sleeping pill (I like Seroquel, and I generally take half of the weakest, so about 50 mg). I make sure I am within 30 minutes of bed before I take it, because in 30 minutes, I will be horizontal – somewhere.

Cell Phone

Oh. Here’s where I use an antibacterial wipe to clean my sleek cell phone (sleek means less critters, so touchscreen, touchscreen, touchscreen). Every night. Then it is sitting there clean waiting when I get out of the shower.

Shower Shoes

I wear Reebok molded plastic slides (in lime green, a girl’s gotta have some fun) in the shower. They are similar to Croc’s but without the straps. I would wear them even if I didn’t have this – love ’em.

Scrub a Dub

Then I get in the shower and immediately scrub my feet with Dawn. This prevents fallout bites. I scrub away and put all used scrubbies in the contaminated canister.

Coconut Oil

I keep two plastic Lu Ann’s (Walmart, quart size) jars of coconut oil on the shower seat next to the canisters (yes, it’s crowded!) One has coconut oil, the other is for mixing. I also have one of those 8 ounce bottles with a pointed dispenser top like the ones that come with hair coloring.

After I rinse off the Dawn, I put Dawn in my hands and spray it around the shower, starting again with my feet for the same reason. Then I turn the water on its hottest setting and fill the mixing jar 3/4 full. I keep a stainless steel soup spoon in the jar with the coconut oil. I spoon some of that into the jar with the hot water and stir to melt the coconut oil.

I use a smaller funnel to fill the dispenser bottle, and drizzle the coconut oil on my skin, then blot some of the water off before I step out.

On the way to the bedroom, I grab my clean phone, and ditch the wet shower cap. Once in the bedroom I hook up my phone to the charger (or I’ll forget and it is my alarm clock), pull off any of the paper towel that got wet around the edges, and put a sterilized cotton kerchief on over the wig cap. I fold a corner one-third over and put the center of the fold at the nape of my neck. I tie in front once, pull the point through and wrap it around one of the tie ends, then make the second tie. Voila. Nice and neat.

I keep clean underwear, socks, and pajamas in sealed bins (sound familiar) off the floor. I also keep a container of clean socks by the bed.

I oil up some more, put specific chemicals (okay, some of it anti-wrinkle, sue me!) on my body as needed, antifungal on my feet, and dress. I change the disposable sheets on my bed and make sure all my open bins are closed. I get on the bed and immediately change my socks. This USUALLY eliminates any crawling in the foot area. My PJs, by the way, cover me completely. I add vinyl gloves in case I decide to rub my contaminated hand on my face or in my eyes during the night. I use an antifungal as a hand cream for this reason. That helps.

About then the Seroquel kicks in, turns off my skin and my brain, zzzzzzzzz

Selfishly Guarded

January 05, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons, Research

Some things should never be shared:

  • Clothes, unless dry cleaned or boiled
  • Towels and bedding, unless boiled
  • Wood furniture, unless sterilized, including joints, crevices, feet
  • Keyboards, probably never
  • Upholstered furniture
  • Pets, unless cleared by a vet

C’mon, post a comment. Tell us what you no longer share – at least not until this plague leaves your body…

River, Egypt

January 04, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons, Psychological Effects, Research

In case you don’t know this quote, it goes like this: “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”

If you have this disease, in any of its many forms, “This can’t be happening” serves only the parasites. Anger is about as useless. The best place to turn that energy is in learning about the disease and finding out the various things that have worked for some of us. You are here, which shows that you are already searching. Don’t quit.

Do you have any clue what you have? If you don’t, go on ebay and search for a “pocket lighted microscope 60-100x.” You can always upgrade to a real microscope or a cheap digital one later. For now, you just want to know what’s “eating” you, right?

It is easy to say, this can’t be happening, but it is, so what do I do now? The answer is, research. No one has all the answers, but there are a lot of answers out there, especially on the internet. Some of them may help you. There are no guarantees. What works for someone else may not work for you. Think before you spend and then know you may find you have wasted your money. Unfortunately, this is more often the case than not.

Only you can decide what you can afford or have time to try, or what your body and family can take. Just remember, speed is of the essence. You must do whatever it takes to learn as much as you can, as fast as you can. Focus on those who have beaten it, but do not ignore the wisdom of those still battling.

Just Do It – Now, Please

January 03, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Morgellons, Psychological Effects, Research

When you catch yourself feeling sorry for yourself, like your life is over, reread this post.

FIRST THINGS FIRST

You have one life. You are sick. Lots of people are sicker. Your odds of getting well are far better, say, than those of someone who is about to be hit by a garbage truck. Find SOMETHING to be thankful for. (I know, it feels like your whole life was hit by a truck.)

Things to focus on: the faster you accept that this is your situation right now, the faster you can start fighting it effectively. Crying and yelling are only band-aids. They don’t really help.

YEAH YEAH

It is going to sound crazier than you feel right now, but look for things that are beautiful ANYway. Think of things you can be grateful for. Above all, LAUGH – laugh at the freaking absurdity of the situation. What the heck else can we do?

DO’S AND DON’TS

DON’T share your desperate plight with those who do not have this. It will not help. It will hurt. You will become, to them, any or all of these: crazy, dangerous, unemployable, unloveable, untouchable, and much more. DON’T SHARE. Not with them, anyway.

DO find the various communities of parasite sufferers online. That is the only smart and appropriate place to dump all your feelings out without real-life negative consequences. That said, you are not paying them. They do not work for you. They do not OWE you a reply to your post. They too are going broke, losing their jobs (because they talked to the wrong people), getting no sleep, clawing at their skin, railing against their unfair plight. Be patient when your posts go unanswered. Busy groups have so many posts daily that the new ones are quickly buried by the newer ones. So repost your questions until someone sees and answers them.

DO find and read the posts on this blog about preventing others from catching this from you. Some simple precautions can ensure that you can continue to function in society as a whole, keep your job, live in the same house with a non-sufferer. The precautions are not a guarantee, at least by me. Each situation is different. However, ve have vays of keeping others safe so we can live among them till we are again one of them.

GROUP ETIQUETTE

Never yell at your new support network, or use all caps (the same as yelling). Do not waste your time or theirs picking apart their posts. JUST LISTEN. Okay, I’m shouting. BE KIND. Even when others do not know to put their anger aside when they post–it is not about you! They just want their life back, too. Like you, they had other plans.

Keyboards

January 02, 2012 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, F-Zymes, Morgellons

It is important to keep your hands and face scrubbed and to wash them as often as possible. Use of a heavy hand cream or lotion often reduces activity.

Keyboards can be cleaned various ways. The most effective is to vacuum them with the dusting attachment of a vacuum cleaner. You can run your vac’s accessories in the dishwasher (I wouldn’t run them with the dishes :-)

You can also run a disinfectant wipe between the keys with a steak knife, or you can cut up a lint roller sheet and use the pieces to clean between the keys.

However, the best way to avoid contaminating and becoming contaminated from a keyboard is to wear disposable vinyl gloves. Why vinyl? Because latex gloves stretch, which makes typing difficult, and they fall apart quickly. Vinyl gloves are thus more economical (last longer) and sterile (broken gloves allow contaminant transfer).

Saving Memories

January 01, 2012 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Mixed Surfaces, Morgellons

This is a war. We didn’t ask for it, but we got it. It will take a minute to win it, and we can win it faster if we identify ways to reduce habitat and time-consuming maintenance for you. We can also save money, as those cleaning supplies add up quickly.

It is understandable if we are determined to keep our books and china and our collections of country quilts and on and on. But for the moment, we might want to store those books in boxes packed with menthol crystals, wash our china in an ammonia-based cleaner and pack them with bubbles and more menthol or diatomaceous earth or some other method of keeping critters out, get them as sterile as we can, rent a storage space if we can afford it, and get them out of the war zone. Many people throw these things away, but if we can set aside our anger and desperation in favor of methodically and thoroughly sterilizing these things prior to removing them from our home, we might be able to salvage them.

I hope.

And if when I unpack my things they contaminate us, then we will have to make the final, hard choice.

What Works4Me, Part 5

December 30, 2011 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, Showers, Skin, Tools

Cell Phone

On the way to the shower, I use a disinfectant wipe on my phone. I take it out of the case and wipe down the case itself and the sides and back of the phone. I let them dry while I shower.

Chin Down (Shower)

I was getting bitten in the shower till I found these tricks:
  • I NEVER wash my face and hair in the shower. I do that in the kitchen or bathroom sink (see above)
  • I use two plastic canisters in the shower. One for clean scrubbies and brushes, the other for the ones I have used. I keep the canisters filled with clean water that has some Dawn in it.
  • As soon as I step into the shower (in my Crocs) I dip two old scrubbies in one of the canisters and then hang up the two scrubbies on a hook I mounted near the shower head. This drips a Dawn solution slowly the whole time I shower, which reduces the ability of anything I scrub off of me from jumping right back on and taking a big chomp out of me.
  • I use my various scrubbies to get squeaky clean.
  • I get the water as hot as I can stand and “iron” my skin
  • I put some Dawn in my hands and spray it out and onto the shower enclosure walls. This also reduces biting the next time I shower.
  • I mix F-zymes in water (in an old plastic coconut oil jar), and drizzle it over my body. To reduce biting, I add Borax. To reduce itching from the borax, I add a pinch of Epsom Salts.
Thanks for reading. Be sure to add your comments!

What Works4Me, Part 4

December 29, 2011 By: kajay Category: Baths, Best Practices, Eyes, F-Zymes, Hair, Lice combing, Morgellons, Ordering, Skin

Preparing for Sleep: Chin Up (Sink)

Scalp

  • I have been lice combing almost every night for many years. When I miss a few nights, I get really bad head and face crawlies and worst problems all over. I use a regular rubber handled flea comb. They are durable and work well enough for my not so microscopic morgies. I start by applying an F-zyme solution and some dimethicone based hair conditioner, then I comb till the comb comes clean and then wash my hair twice with Dawn.

Eyes

  • I use eyelid scrubbies then rinse my eyes with tepid water, blot, repeat 3x or more. I do my eyes before the rest of my face because the smell of the chemicals helps keep any organisms on my face from running right into my eyes.

Face and Neck

  • I use a Buf Puf and scrub really well.

Hair

  • I apply conditioner, beefed up with a little (not coincidentally antiparasitic) castor oil for more conditioning for little $.
  • I wrap my hair with paper towels, secure them with a wig cap, and cover with a plastic shower cap.
Tomorrow night I will share the remaining bedtime rituals that help me sleep…

 

What Works4Me, Part 3

December 28, 2011 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, Clothes, F-Zymes, Morgellons

Clothes Spray

This helps reduce bites from “sheds,” that is, from anything that “falls out” of my scalp. In a quart spray bottle, I add 6 oz of Jeffers Pet’s Foot and Hoof Rot spray, 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon of herbal insect repellent (I like Legacy Herbs), and fill with water.

Skin Treatment

This significantly reduces crawling and biting. I apply this from the neck down twice daily: once when I am dressing for work and again when I am getting ready for bed.
In a plastic milk pitcher, I use a large wire whisk to mix–
  • 3 1-quart bottles of Luster’s Pink Oil (original not light)
  • 1 tsp of Legacy Herbs Insect Repellent
  • 1/4 Cup of Jeffers Pet’s Foot and Hoof Rot spray
I pour this mixture into a single-serving, melamine pasta bowl. I scoop it out with both hands and can apply all over very quickly this way.
I apply to privates first then everywhere else (on my feet I first apply an antimicrobial).
Check back tomorrow  night for the life-saving techniques I have developed and used for years with any number of products.

Lymorg.com is now shipping the latest F-zyme formula available.

 

What Works4Me, Part 1

December 26, 2011 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, F-Zymes, Herx, Morgellons, Psychological Effects

Note to Newbies

I had this a long time before I knew what it was, and for many years before I discovered this group. You are going to get well before me because you have not had it as long. Hold onto that. I know you are hurt and angry and don’t know why this is happening to you or why no one will listen.
I have seen many sufferers with less time in the disease than I have, come and go. YOU CAN, TOO! But you can also reduce the discomfort we have all experienced while you get rid of the disease.
Check back tomorrow night to read the first of my articles about how I have made this horrible battle a little less horrible.

 

The Lie of Delusory Parasitosis

December 24, 2011 By: kajay Category: Delusory Parasitosis, F-Zymes, Morgellons, Psychological Effects

Why is it so difficult to get a diagnosis of our condition? How we do not get a proper diagnosis I credit at least in small part to an article entitled Delusory Parasitosis written by Nancy Hinkle. Despite its (to us) obvious fallacies, the included table of symptoms (of DP) even today often blocks us from receiving help –  or even being taken seriously – by members of three key professions:
  • medical doctors
  • entomologists
  • pest control operators
Why has a two-page article so impacted – in a negative way – the lives of so many? Because the article appears in each of these professions’ trade encyclopedias and professional databases (I googled them). As a result, when these professionals get on their computers, log into their expensive trade software, and then punch in our symptoms, the search results tell them that it is all in our heads. A pat answer is what we get to a confusing, painful, terrifying condition, usually early in the disease when we are struggling just to figure out what is going on, how to get rid of it, and, worse yet, are realizing it isn’t as simple as a bottle of Rid or a tube of Eurax.
Like the strong among you, and this disease has definitely made me strong, I don’t know about you, I refused to let these obstacles keep me from doing absolutely everything I could to get over the disease and put it behind me. I had to stop the incessant ice pick bites, the crawling invasion of every part of my body. I got lucky. Even though I am still fighting the disease, I have learned to deal with the short-term effects while the battle rages on.
Over the first couple of years I pretty much stumbled onto these things that have allowed me a more humane existence in spite of the critters.
Newbies, check back tomorrow night for my first in a series of things that can help you survive the fight you have in front of you!

 

Albino Exodus

December 24, 2011 By: kajay Category: F-Zymes, Herx, Morgellons

In addition to “slamming zymes” I decided to try what a friend is doing with great success, that is, when he uses this product in the bathtub, a large number of black particles came out of his body. You have probably heard of people using algaecides. He has found one that has less side effects – it is gentle – and that is inexpensive. But most of all, it works! I used it differently, in my post-shower drizzle (air dried). I mixed it with my usual F-zyme + borax + epsom salt combo.

The big difference in what happened with me is that instead of black particles, I get large (1/8 to 1/4″ long) completely white fiber critters! They are constantly rolling out of my body and onto my  skin once I use the algaecide.

As with the F-zymes, I take a supplement to reduce biting. The best (for me) is oregano, with neem leaf and olive leaf tying for second. I take three of whichever of these I have on hand. When I don’t, I get bitten.

Note: Lymorg.com seems to be offering F-6, but Gordon will actually ship you the latest F-zyme formula he has on hand at the time he receives your order.

Slamming ‘Zymes Part 2

December 23, 2011 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, F-Zymes, Herx, Morgellons

The first formula I added to my bedtime internals was Interfase Plus from Klaire Labs (available at Amazon). This product is sold specifically as a chitinase. The contents of the capsules can also be dissolved in water and added to my spray, but work better as an internal treatment.

The second formula is Walmart’s Spring Valley brand of a product called “Probiotic Multi-Enzyme Digestive Formula.”

Neither of these two, when added alone, produce anything like what they did when I took both with F-8 at bedtime. On the days following my first two nights taking this combination of enzyme formulas, I had extremely heavy shedding of soft organic matter, very light in color, like softer feta cheese. They emerged as little blobs up to 1/8″ and were so thick that they filled the fibers inside my clothing. The texture of the blobs was like mushy feta cheese. Shedding outside my clothing was minimal, indicating that the enzyme triad affected my scalp, at least in that time frame, less than my trunk.

Read tomorrow night’s post to find out what I am doing that is bringing up large “albino” fiber critters – and how I’m keeping them from biting me on the way out!

Note: Lymorg.com seems to be offering F-6, but Gordon will actually ship you the latest F-zyme formula he has on hand at the time he receives your order.

Slamming ‘Zymes Part 1

December 20, 2011 By: kajay Category: Best Practices, F-Zymes, Herx, Morgellons

Gordon’s F-Zymes are getting more potent with each formula, and he has changed things up a bit by adding chitinase to F-8. The first night when I went to bed the strongest concentration was on my head. I think I reported in another post that it had me speeding all night–it was the strangest thing. I know there are NO stimulants in F-8. It wasn’t that. It was ACTIVITY – in my scalp, inside my head. Talk about freaked out. But I am still here. That only happened for a couple of nights. It doesn’t happen anymore. My scalp is not completely clear, but I feel like in those two nights things came out that I have not been able to reach before.

I got a handle on how much to use and the protocol that strikes a balance between doing nothing and off the chart unmanageable, and for me that consists of taking 3 to 5 double zero caps a night and, after showering with Dawn, drizzling F-8, borax, and a pinch of epsom salts. Last night I added bentonite clay to the drizzle and SEEM to be having fewer sheds today. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing. After I air dry (brrrrr, you know that feeling, right?) I added Pink Oil, which still, after a decade, helps me sooo much. Then I fell onto my disposable sheets with a half 100mg Seroquel in me and woke to my Verizon rooster alarm at 5:30 am.

Then I got adventurous and thought, since I am from a family known to push limits, why not see what THIS will do. THIS refers to stacking other enzymes on top of the F-8. I had two formulas on hand…

Read Friday’s post to learn what combination of F-8 and commercially and readily available enzyme formulas produced a feta cheese like substance to ooze from my pores, especially on the back of my neck and shoulders…

Note: Lymorg.com seems to be offering F-6, but Gordon will actually ship you the latest F-zyme formula he has on hand at the time he receives your order.